I don’t know if there’s any way to describe the way the past week unfolded. I’ve been quiet on here for several reasons, mostly because we’ve just been extremely busy with the house and wedding.
But a lot of it was due to what happened to us on Mother’s Day and the Monday after.
I should back up a bit……..
Remember our trip to DC in April? It was at that point that we decided we’d like to start trying for a baby. With me being 35, and Alfie being 38, we figured it may take a while for us to get pregnant anyway, so we might as well start giving it a shot.
As it turns out, we were successful on the first try! We were SO extremely happy! And shocked at the same time. And immediately we started making plans on how we were going to tell Kenzer, and also how we would announce it to our families. We intended on telling Kenzer on Mother’s Day, and then making an announcement to our families at the wedding.
Wasn’t meant to be………….
Unfortunately, that wasn’t meant to be. We have now joined the ranks of the 64,000 people every year who have their pregnancies turn out to be ectopic.
On Mother’s day, we were working at the house getting ready to move in the following day. At one point during the day I started having severe back pain, and had started spotting. I knew something was wrong, and the outlook already wasn’t good because the doctor had stated that my HCG levels weren’t as high as they should be.
At this point, I figured I was having a miscarriage. I was saddened that such an event would be taking place on Mother’s Day of all days, but I was also thankful that we have Kenzer to celebrate on a special day.
I wasn’t in severe pain, and I knew there was nothing a doctor would be able to do at that point, so I took it easy the rest of the evening, tried to process what was happening, and figured I’d just tell the doctor what happened when I headed to my already scheduled prenatal appointment the next day.
We make plans, God laughs………..
The plan for Monday was that I would go to work in the morning, head to my appointment in the late afternoon, and then we would move that evening. As it turns out, I ended up being admitted to the hospital Monday evening instead.
At my doctor’s appointment when they did the ultrasound, it was discovered that our little bubby was actually in fallopian tube, and the doctor was in fear that the back pain and bleeding was because I was at risk for my tube to rupture. I was told to get myself to the hospital immediately.
At this point my mind was racing. I called Alfie, told him the situation, made sure someone could pick me up after surgery (I thought I was going to get to come home the same day), and I insisted that he just go about our plans of moving, there was nothing he was going to be able to do by just sitting in the hospital with me!
And at this point we had 6 days until our wedding and were entertaining 30+ people in our home. So time was of the essence.
The next phone call I made was to my mom. Talk about a crazy conversation. Up until this point, she didn’t even know we were pregnant. So to have to call her, tell her we were pregnant, and then tell her in the same breath that we were losing our baby, it was quite the roller coaster of emotions.
She immediately jumped in her car and headed to the hospital.
I tried to insist that she didn’t do that, but she wouldn’t listen, and for that I’m thankful. Because as it turns out I ended up having to stay over night in the hospital, and I would have been sitting there alone all evening. It was nice having her there as a distraction.
My surgery didn’t take place until around 2am! My doctor was busy delivering a baby and wasn’t able to get to me until that time. But I must say, she was wonderful at checking on me and explaining to me what was about to happen.
The only other time I’ve ever had surgery was for my wisdom teeth back when I was 18 years old. I’d never been in an operating room, so to say I was scared is an understatement.
Alfie and I had met with an attorney last week regarding wills, but haven’t had a chance to draw them up, so I made sure I made a makeshift will and put it in my purse on the off chance that something happened to me. Since we weren’t officially married yet, my estate would go to Kenzer, but be in the control of her guardians, and I wanted to make sure it was in Alfie’s control. (The importance of having a will people!!)
Anyway, I remember slowly falling asleep, looking up at the bright lights of the operating room. And I remember praying to God as I drifted off, and making sure that He made sure Kenzer knew I loved her.
Just like that………….
And just like that, it was done. We had gained ourselves an Angel Baby, and lost a fallopian tube in the process.
The surgery took about 2 hours, and when I came to the doctor was there to tell me that everything went fine.
She checked my other fallopian tube to make sure it wasn’t blocked, and she showed me pictures of the tube she had to remove with our baby in it. She told me we shouldn’t have trouble trying to conceive after this because actually, your fallopian tubes can take eggs from either ovary. In fact, in this instance it was my left ovary that ovulated, and it was my right tube that picked it up.
This was good to hear! But if I’m being honest, I’m still worried about being able to conceive. And then when we DO conceive again, I’ll be worried about it being ectopic again, and now I’m down to only having one tube left!
But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Try, Try Again………..
The doctor told us we need to wait 1-2 months before we start to try again. You better believe we’ll start trying immediately!!
But I’m really worried that we won’t be able to conceive as quickly this time around. And my ability to be patient is almost impossible when it comes to even the smallest thing, so I imagine needing to be patient regarding having a baby is going to quite near impossible!
I would love it, if any of you out there would happen to know of someone, or you yourself have become pregnant after having an ectopic pregnancy and losing a fallopian tube—if you would share your story with me!
Either in the comments, or via email. I really would love to hear from you! I think it will help us to keep our chin up!!
Thanks for listening friends! Despite the beginning of the week not going so well, the positive at the end of the week was being married to my best friend. I’ll be back later in the week to share a recap of our special day.
In the meantime, I hope to hear from lots of you on some positive success stories!!